Otto Fong in RI

Unpublished letter to newspaper about Elton John's orchids

2011-12-03T18:34:00.001-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, Elton John visited Singapore. He was honored with an orchid named after him, to which he attended the ceremony with his partner David Furnish and their son Zachary. A certain Josephine Tay wrote an indignant letter, saying Elton does not deserve that honor because he is gay.

I wrote a letter to Straits Times, our main national newspaper. While the responses published are good (according to the editors, 19 letters supporting Elton's honor, and 3 supporting Ms Tay), I'll leave you to guess why mine wasn't included. My view is that if Indians are insulted, a letter from an Indian would be appropriate. If gay people are insulted, why shouldn't openly-gay people's responses be included?

"I am a gay Singaporean who grew up in a homophobic environment. When Elton John sang "I'm Still Standing", I found some courage to not give up and just keep going. When Princess Diana passed away, I cried with the millions who had heard Elton's "Candle in the Wind". Elton has battled homophobia, survived fame, and raised millions more for charity. And he continues to help younger artists like Eminem find their place. In his concerts, he sang with humility and grace, usually performing well over 3 hours to the delight of millions.

His achievements are monumental. His voice is a gift that lifts hearts and souls. While some insist that gay people cannot form meaningful relationship, Elton - like many of us - has a happy, stable family. Yet, for all his talents and humanity, Ms Tay felt that Elton's sexuality alone should discount his eligiblity for an acknowledgement. Does Ms Tay also feel that gay Singaporeans like myself, or even her gay or lesbian colleagues should expect no acknowledgement from our peers and country, even when we do our part in careers, family and society?"

Nevertheless, it is a positive step in the right direction. ST Forum pointed out that 19 letters disagreed with Ms Josephine Tay, while 3 agreed with her. I can only hope that these steps will continue, as more and more people understand the real facts behind being LGBT.

Same Sexuality, Different Drag

2011-09-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

This week, Kumar comes out of the closet!

Kumar is famous in Singapore as a comedian, cross-dressingperformer and the top drag queen. He is also a household name as he has hostedlocal TV programmes. At the launch of his new book “Kumar: From Rags To Drags”,attended by guest-of-honor and Singapore minister Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, Kumar– now 43-years-old – announced that he is finally able to say that he is gay.

Many gay men and women praised Kumar for his courage,and just as many gay people say that it is no surprise because Kumar is “soobvious”. Kumar’s sexuality, as some believe, is community and public knowledge– he still enjoyed fame and success as a performer - so his coming out wouldmake no difference at all.

I beg to differ. Kumar’s public outing is assignificant as anyone’s public outing. It took no less courage for an“obviously gay” person to acknowledge that he or she is gay.

Many people prefer that gay folks NOT acknowledge oursexuality, even when all signs point to someone being gay. In the past, Kumarhad denied that he was gay twice in the newspapers. So, even if there wasacceptance, the acceptance was of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell No Matter HowObvious You Are” kind. We accept you – as long as you don’t say you are gay.

That is why Kumar coming outis important: as a community, we want that formal acknowledgement, and we wantthe respect that comes with it. The true test for Kumar’s relationship with thepublic lies in the next few years after he comes out: it should make nodifference then that he said he is gay, since he is already an ‘obvious’ queen.

A Madonna song wasintroduced this way: “Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirtsand boots, 'cause it's OK to be a boy. But for a boy to look like a girl isdegrading, 'cause you think that being a girl is degrading.” The discrimination within the community for dragqueens and ‘obvious’ gays persisted till today. Perhaps some of us see their sissy behavior asinstrumental in the discrimination of the LGBT community?

The real culprit of LGBT discrimination is not somuch that ‘obvious’ gay people live openly, but rather that less ‘obvious’people remain hidden, therefore offer nothing to counter the public’sperception that all gay people are somehow into drag or sissies (not that cross-dressingor being effeminate is wrong). The only way for the public to see thediversity, is for a diverse bunch of gay people to live their lives openly,isn't it? Seeing is believing. All else is propaganda.

When we were young, some of the straight-acting (in a sense, Kumar dear, we’re better actors than you) amongst us joined in the teasing of sissies. That sense of superiority never left some of us. We bulked up, and with our armor of muscles, are manlier than straight men. We think that this armor can protect us from the curious attention of our colleagues and friends – even though the same muscles are primarily designed to attract potential suitors and lovers (don't give me that "it's for health" talk - you can be perfectly healthy doing yoga or jogging).

It might work for a while, but unless you’re married with children, eventually, people will see through that build. In other words, it takes a straight person to know another straight person – and you ain’t no straight person, bro! You are single, middle-aged, and buzz-cut, and you carry more name-branded clothes and bags than the average female colleague. If one day you come out, don’t be surprised that your friends fight to stifle the yawns as you did when you heard about Kumar’s outing.

Kumar may be the elephant in the room, but when he trumpeted, some other elephants in the room yawned louder than they should. That’s because some think they're much less obvious than Kumar – maybe because they think they are safe hiding behind the sofa and other tiny furniture in the room.

Kumar wears a dress, some of us wear muscles and A&F. Different drag, just as gay. There is nothing wrong with gorgeous muscles that light up the scenery and my Facebook, just as there is nothing wrong with dresses because they do that too. There is nothing wrong with coming out, and nothing wrong to stay in the closet.

But if we discriminate our own kind, can we expect equality from others?

Role Models

2011-08-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

A special thanks to my straight friend Lim Teng Leong. A discussion he started made me write this piece!

The world shook today. Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple, father of the iMac, iPod and iPhone, announced that he is stepping down.

The world shook too in the LGBT community. The person taking over the rein of Apple is Tim Cook, outed by Out magazine as a gay man. Cook himself has never confirmed nor denied his sexuality.

A friend’s friend asked, “why make his sexuality such a big deal?” Another said, “It shouldn’t matter.”

In an ideal world, it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be a big deal if Apple’s next CEO is a woman, a minority or a religious person Buddhist, Muslim, Christian or Hindu. Why make a big deal about Tim Cook being gay? Noone made a big deal of Steve Jobs being straight!

Tim Cook - the new CEO of Apple

In the real world, a woman or a black person need not face that choice – the fact that they are female or a minority race is clear as day. Not so for a gay person. In the real world, most gay people keep their sexuality private.

I remembered growing up gay and searching desperately for a role model. Here was my journey:

From childhood to teenager, my only gay ‘role models’ were perverts and pedophiles prowling in the toilets. They were hunted, arrested and paraded on the national newspapers and tabloids. I remembered my mother said, “those sick bastards!” So I concluded I might be sick too.

When I discovered Yukio Mishima, a Japanese gay writer, I poured through his books, thirsting for some clues to guide me. Unfortunately, he was a strange fellow indeed. While I was thrilled that he declared his love for the same sex bravely, I was less happy about his morbid passion that gay love must end in suicide. Since he was the only Asian gay writer I knew then, I almost bought into that fatalism – there was to be no happy ending for gay relationships.

Yukio Mishima - talented but disturbed

In a better world, you might find it funny to know my next favorite role model, an unrepentant, cheeky playwright called Joe Orton, had his skull bashed in with a hammer by his deranged boyfriend, Kenneth Helliwell. After killing Orton, Helliwell killed himself with an overdose of pills.

Joe Orton - talented but died a violent death in the hands of his lover

AIDS unearthed a slew of celebrities - Rock Hudson, Brad Davis, and Freddie Mercury to name a few – and in the same breath, declared them dead or dying.

I soldiered along, and in the process found many LGBT writers and artists in my native land of Singapore. The arrival of Elton John, Ian McKellen, Ellen DeGeneres and Adam Lambert lifted my spirits, but they, along with countless gay fashion designers and celebrity hairdressers, still did not fit my definition of a role model.

I may be an artist, but a part of me is decidedly a science geek.

What I need, is a modern-day Leonardo DaVinci, or a contemporary Alan Turing: someone who is gay but cannot be pigeon-holed into a strictly artistic environment. So you can imagine my excitement when news of Cook’s sexuality broke!

Alan Turing - conceptualized the principles of modern computing, instrumental in stopping World War II. Rewarded with chemical castration. Committed suicide.

And my disappointment when later articles clarified that he never came out personally. Waiting for my role model feels like grasping at mirages in a desert.

Tim Cook has been an integral part of Apple. How big an influence or inspiration he has been, or will be, to such an iconic corporation remains to be seen. It would be great if he comes out, but what if he doesn’t? Afterall, filling in Jobs’ enormous shoes is already a monumental task. He should decide for himself if coming out will be to Apple’s advantage.

We may never get his own confirmation.

Until then, he cannot be a role model for me or my community. But I realised something: I can wait for that elusive gay role model to show me the way, or I can be that role model.

I won’t be holding my breath for Cook or any other gay men or women. I won’t sit and wait for someone to share his or her formula for success. There is no road map that will point the way towards my dreams.

“Fine!” I tell myself, “all the sweeter when I get there first.”

And with that, I put my best foot forward.

Wild Rice's "Family Outing" - LGBT plays are a cornerstone for Singapore culture

2011-08-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

(Photo courtesy of Charmaine Tan)

I attended Wild Rice's staging of first-time playwright Joel Tan's play "Family Outing".

Significantly, this is the first time a local gay play attempted to fuse religion with sexuality where the son did not turn away from his sexuality*. The playwright manages to present what was once un-presentable on Singapore stage. It wasn't a perfect piece - it ended where I felt it was to be an interval. For a devout religious family to come to terms with a gay son, experience of my friends showed that it can take years or decades. A friend once told me, "when a son comes out of the closet with his parents, the parents often go into a closet of their own." Perhaps the mother would deploy her arsenal of church friends and even pastor to 'set the boy right', perhaps she would have to struggle privately. For a drama mama, the protagonist's mama sure got over herself in a period of time that is nothing short of miraculous. But Joel should be applauded for writing an enjoyable play with a gay protagonist that, even in death, insist on being happy and true to himself. I'm sure the story connects with many religious gay people, and even a non-religious gay person like myself can relate to the struggle to reach out to mom and dad. The play is a notable entry into a canon of LGBT plays in Singapore, and Joel is a young playwright whose future works will be thrilling and exciting.

(*Strictly speaking, The Necessary Stage's "___ Can Change" contains a segment with a gay religious son too. In that play, the son chose to leave his boyfriend, get married and start a family to please his mother.)

I'd watched a few notable gay plays in the recent years (Drama Box's "Bondage" and Wild Rice's "Asian Boys Vol 3"), wrote the first Mandarin gay play (Drama Box's "Another Tribe") and all my plays feature gay characters and some gay themes, including this year's Arts Fest play HERStory. Since Russell Heng's "Lest The Demons Get To Me", Eleanor Wong's "Mergers and Accusations" and Michael Chiang's "Private Parts", I'd attended some local gay plays.

A majority of the local playwrights have their own gay plays. Virtually all local drama groups have staged gay plays. Asking friends to name some, I was greeted with a barrage of plays old and new. It appears that gay plays are not just a regular occurrence in the local scene, but one of the main themes that kept propping up. No amount of bullying or discouragement seemed to have dented our merry spirits.

Yet, our local media authorities have continued to discourage this genre of plays. Shouldn't they recognise the LGBT's huge contribution to the development of local culture instead? Without exaggeration, the gay play IS a cornerstone of Singapore culture and should be recognised and acknowledged as such. Below is a Facebook discussion of local gay plays.

My dear LGBT friends, let it be known that we are the soldiers who built Singapore's Great Wall of Culture**. Unlike the thousands who died anonymously building the Great Wall of China, we will not let our contribution be swept under the rugs.

(** This is not to disparage the straight giants of culture in Singapore - Kuo Pao Kun for example. If I name straight names, I might be unwittingly outing the gay ones who're not out-out yet.)

Pink Dot 2011 - my keynote speech

2011-06-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

Two weeks before Pink Dot, Boo Junfeng wrote me via Facebook, asking me to deliver a keynote speech at the third of this LGBT event. Junfeng, whose directorial debut "Sandcastles" signaled the emergence of an incredible young film talent, also directed the Pink Dot 2011 video. It attracted more than 200,000 views in 2 months.

Having been a volunteer the last two Pink Dots, I was prepared to spend a carefree day at the event ogling at celebrities like Dave Tan (of Electrico fame) and looking out for Vincent Wijeysingha (the Singapore Democratic Party candidate during the last General Election). But the invitation to deliver a keynote speech was a huge honor. Like the time when Raffles Institution, Singapore's top secondary school, offered me a teaching job, I didn't have to consider much before saying Yes.

I was very glad the organisers decided to invite a gay person to deliver the speech. In the last two Dots, straight celebrities like Neo Swee Li (famous stage and tv actress) gave us their blessings, urging compassion and acceptance on our behalf. It's vital that straight people gave us their support, but we must also step up when the opportunity to contribute to the LGBT community land on our lap.

I've known people from the community for a long time, and I know LGBT people are basically ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. Perhaps thanks to discrimination, some of us behave like carbon under great pressure: some of us became diamonds. So, it is a great honor that some of these diamonds organising Pink Dot asked me.

The first issue to confront is Neo Swee Lin's speech in Pink Dot 2010. It was simple, it was moving, it was powerful: "we are born alone. We go to the graves alone. There is no reason why any of us should be alone in this life." How do I write a speech that live up to that?

Fortunately, I gave up trying to 'compete'. It's not about a better speech. It's talking about the personal that others can identify with. It's about finding a perspective that may help others move forward.

When I was younger, I tried but failed to find love within the community. I got my heart broken several times. I broke others' hearts several times. After the nth time, I began to question if gay men are meant to be in lasting relationships. I now know that gay relationships - like straight relationships - simply needed the same nurturing from partners, friends and communities. But 20 years ago, most gay folks had zero support in our quest for love. This perspective formed the basis of my speech. Junfeng and a few organisers gave me valuable feedback, which resulted in the following speech:

"My friends, gay brothers gay sisters, straight brothers and straight sisters, welcome! My name is Otto Fong. Some of you may know me for publicly outing myself as a gay man while I was teaching in a secondary school. Thank you for being here! Because of you, we have made history again! This is the single largest gathering of people in support of the freedom to love in Singapore! Do you know that 30 or 40 years ago, the Hong Lim Park area used to be the main gathering place for some gay men? Isn’t it ironic? Isn’t it coincidental? Or is it fateful?

Many years ago, I was a frightened, lonely young man as I looked for love along the back alleys near here. It wasn't easy, and how could it be? We met in the dark, we used fake names, gave out fake numbers because we were so afraid! Worst of all, we broke each others’ hearts because noone taught us how to love. We had to learn about love the hard way.

But things have changed! And we are a part of that change! I am living with my partner, and this year, we just celebrated our 13th anniversary. Many of my friends are in committed, long-term relationships with the support of family and friends. As we stand here today, we are sending a strong message of love, acceptance and inclusivity. We declare that we are also a part of the Singapore family.

Over the years others have spoken out for us, many of them straight people - many continue to stand with us here, now. Were it not for their courage and determination, Pink Dot would not be possible. Please join me in a round of applause in thanking our straight friends for being here!

Today, we reaffirm our love for Singapore. Singapore, belongs not to any one segment, any one group. It belongs to us ALL - gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or straight. Together, we signal a hope of a more inclusive, open-minded Singapore. Together, we support each other’s freedom to love, so that every one of us can have someone to call his or her own in this life!"

HERStory passed censorship without cuts or rating

2011-05-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

TODAY's news writeup by Mayo Martin (click on image to read details)

5 years ago, a play which talks about the lives of an old Singaporean political leftist's wife and her gay son would have been a lightning rod for the flash of the censors' scissors.

This week, it will be showing without cut or rating. This means . . . I really have no idea what it means! Does this signal a more enlightened governmental direction in nurturing the Arts? Did the recent General Election have any impact on the show?

All I know is that the artists involved all agreed that the politics and sexuality should only be presented when the issue is relevant to the central character. While these issues are inseparable to the woman portrayed in this play, they cannot upstage her feelings and her thoughts. For instance, while the gay son has strong opinions about sexuality and gay rights, it was not shared by the mother during their confrontations. So how do we present such scenes without being disrespectful to both sides? This brings to mind another play, called "_____ Can Change", staged by The Necessary Stage.

A scene from TNS's "______ Can Change"

The TNS story presented the religious mother's view, where the gay son gave up his relationship with a man, then married and had children to please his mother. During the performance I watched, a group of gay supporters protested loudly, then stalked off the show! In our play, we try to show what goes on in the mother's mind when her son made a very public declaration of his sexuality. No apologies, no regrets, no agendas.

As for the politics, we stayed true to the central character - in Singapore, during the 50s and 60s, women were deliberately kept out of the meetings. When questioned by a more vocal feminist, a prominent politician replied, "it is our prerogative." Hence, we only presented what the woman could see - hence, politically-charged scenes - those which she was not a part of - are presented only when they made some impact on her, or totally removed when we felt it does not serve her story.

Without a restricted rating, our play will be seen and judged by all ages. We cannot predict how the play will be received this coming weekend. All I can say, one day before the play, is that we hope people find that their weekend is well-spent with us!

Talk@Google

2011-05-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

On the 10th May, I was invited by Gayglers, the LGBT group in Google Singapore, for their first afternoon sharing session with their employees.

I was expecting a small room where a few LGBT employees and I spend the one hour chit-chatting. Instead, a sizeable number showed up, with a good number of straight and gay employees - it was the most diverse and international crowd I'd shared with. It makes sense too for Google - events like these allows employees to learn about local culture and thinking, giving them a broader perspective and hence greater ways of reaching out to different demographics.

As for myself, I was asking, "why do I keep sharing? I should be drawing my next comic book!" There is no answer to that. Deep inside, I know sharing is good for myself and others, as long as I share responsibly. My view is, we're all fleas on a very big elephant. Those of us living in the elephant's ears will have a vastly different view than those living on its arse. Our own truths are not the Whole Truth, and any "I'm right you're wrong" argument is at best futile. Sharing helps us see a slightly bigger picture. As our differences open our eyes, our commonality draws us closer.

Google Singapore is very supportive of their employees. Gayglers is just one of those interest groups set up by employees themselves. When introducing me, the management (who sat through my entire talk) quoted a line I wrote in my coming-out blog, "I won't be a Bonsai tree."

I shared a little about the lessons I learnt as an openly-gay person: My life has extended beyond the closet, and I'd reached out to friends from all walks of life, seen more schools and students than I'd ever did in my 8 years as a teacher. My comic books have promoted fun and imagination in the learning of Science. Just the other day, a student stood up and said, "a Muslim cannot be a scientist!" (A little heartbreaking when a child cannot dream freely even in a country like Singapore.) And I was able to show her the possibility that anyone can - and I could back it up because one of my books have already featured a Muslim scientist (can we fight global problems with just half of the world's scientists?). A week before the talk, another print of my Sir Fong comics sold out.

I gave up a closet, and gained the forest.

In other words, this little Bonsai tree is starting to grow its own branches. No longer constantly under the gardener's knife, I am reaching for the sky as nature intended me to. I don't know why I keep sharing, but that's the beauty of being out of the closet - I am learning day-by-day to trust my heart.

HERStory - my new play in the Arts Festival 2011

2011-04-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

Click on image below to read article!

In this year's Arts Festival, I wrote a little play. The play was originally intended as a tribute to my mother, who supported my dad Fong Swee Suan during his political career as a Trade Unionist, co-founder of our current ruling party PAP and subsequent imprisonment during a sweep against the leftists in Singapore. But as improvisations began at Drama Box, my long-time partner-in-theatre, director Kok Heng Luen, dramaturg Chong Tze Chien and the actors involved help the script evolve into a tribute for women of the 50s and 60s.

The change in direction was also prompted by my mother: she objected to me bringing up the fact that the woman in the play has a gay son. She had given her entire life and sacrificed her own dreams in order to bring me up after my father was released from prison. It is easy to imagine that a possible lifetime of discrimination by the mainstream population was NOT what she had in mind for her child. In the end, the gay son stays in the story, while we modified the story from one woman to women of her generation.

Click on image below to read Mandarin writeup on play!

I came out publicly as a gay person in 2007. While I cannot agree with my mother's prejudices, I can sympathize with her feelings. AND while I sympathize with her feelings, I cannot consent to going back into the closet. She'd given up her whole life partly for her family, and for myself. But I cannot give up my life in return just to just be her ideal son.

Afterall, she had rebelled against the injustices of her generation. She'd defied old traditions of women staying in the kitchen and allowing the men to run her life. She had stood for what she believed in and paid the price. Hence, it was a little ironic that she expect me to follow in her tradition and live according to her expectations. So, the focus of the play is firmly from the woman's point of view, but the audience can also expect to see some really interesting exchange scenes, as sparks fly between the two generations.

The fight to express our sexuality is not the same as the Feminist Movement nor the African-American Civil Rights Movement. Yet, there are a lot of parallels as we move towards an era where all these damning labels get discarded one by one. If you have the time and interest, do book a good seat for this show:

http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/126

HERStory

Date: 28th May and 29th May 2011

Performances at 3pm and 8pm

Tickets at $36

@ SOTA (School of The Arts) Studio Theatre

An Anniversary: is a partnership automatically 'better' than being single?

2011-03-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today, an ex-student of mine was featured in Straits Times

Today, a student from a single-parent family was featured in ST. His mom raised him singlehandedly, and she raised a son anyone can be proud of.

Why do I mention him here?

Anniversaries were kept private

Yesterday, my partner Han and I celebrated our 13th anniversary together.

In the past, we kept our birthdays and anniversaries to ourselves. We usually buy a cake and flowers for each other. Barring a few very close friends, we would spend those evenings quietly at home.

One of the reasons why we chose to celebrate quietly is this: as the years go by, it felt like gloating. I didn't know why, but somehow celebrating with others did not feel right.

Flawed views on partnerships

Recently, I saw what stopped us from sharing: I know how being single felt like. Now that we're together, I don't see how we can enjoy the moment when some of our great friends are single. To every single person, declaring our anniversary might come across as a declaration that we'd "succeeded". In order to be successful, in my old view, someone else must fail.

Also, there are many gay and lesbian couples who had stayed together longer than we. AND, there are instances where such long term relationships come to an end. So, celebrating an anniversary is in no way a declaration that a couple has "made it".

Thankfully, age has finally given me some new insights. The main flaw lies in seeing a long-term relationship as 'superior' to that of singlehood or short-termed ones. I'd committed the same folly as the religious fundamentalists who objected to gay marriage, single-parents and divorced parenting: they assume that a man-woman marriage is superior to that of other forms of arrangements. All other arrangements are frowned upon, or worse, discriminated against.

Yet, anyone who knows my ex-student will attest that he is raised as well as - if not better than - many two parents could.

Is there only one right path?

Many people have done quite well as singles. Whether it's singlehood by choice or circumstance, many people has created extraordinary lives despite the lack of a partner. Divorced parents can bring up wonderful children, and children under traditional man-woman households are also likely to face a variety of challenges. In other words, we cannot assume that only one way works for everyone. Given that each individual grows up with distinct abilities, genes and circumstances, it is erroneous to believe that what works for us will work for every individual.

That is what religious fundamentalist believe: there is only one way. All other ways are morally objectionable.

Similarly, if I'd assume that my 13 years together with Han is somehow 'better' than every other arrangements by my fellow lgbt friends, I am, for lack of a better phrase, full of shit. Many of my single friends are doing very well on their own, and what right do I have to judge them according to my personal ideals?

A celebration need not be a comparison

With that realisation, I now share with you that Han and I have been together for 13 years. I am able to celebrate our anniversary fully. Celebrating my happiness does not diminish the varied life experiences of my fellow men and women, because I can see that one celebration is simply an affirmation that I am happy with the choice I make in life - which is to spend it with Han. I am at the same time in awe of all the single men and women who made it work and made it work well. What I cannot imagine doing myself, my single friends made a reality.

Why should a single person not see his/her life as an inspiration or a reason for celebration? Why should single parents be looked down upon or discriminated against in anyway?

Cashing In on Lady Gaga

2011-02-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

Lady Gaga released "Born This Way" this week. It is her love song to the gay community.

This is the first time a major artist at the top of her game put out a song about gays, lesbians, bis and transgender lives. Before her, there were courageous indies groups or singers, but none of the major pop stars would give us a song. So we adopted "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, we flooded the dance floor when "YMCA" started blasting and our transgender sisters lip-synched to a dozen torch songs written for suffering women.

So I was surprised at the reception of "Born This Way" by some of our own. "If this song is a hit," declares someone, "I will turn straight!" The common observation is that the song sounds like Madonna's "Express Yourself" - which is, to my opinion, quite accurate. But remember that (for those of us old enough) when Madonna was young, she was also relentlessly compared to the previous gay icon Barbra Streisand.

Soon, it's hip to say that Lady Gaga was cashing in on the Pink Dollar. Now THAT I take issue with!

A few days later, covers of "Born This Way" pops up in the internet. Some really excellent covers. What is striking then, is the fact that many of them took out the line "gay str9 or bi, lesbian transgender lives".

This one wants you to buy her tune on iTune:

This one does an excellent cover:

And this one's great too:

They all took out that line. So, either these artists are uncomfortable with the gay community, or they're afraid of losing a portion of their listeners who might be homophobic. Yet, at least one of them asks that you buy her neutered version of the song on iTunes!

So it seems not many people are eager to cash in on the Pink Dollar! Sometimes, we're so hip and clever that we don't know our asses from our heads. Turns out Elton John and Dan Savage are right again - Lady Gaga has more balls than many. If you ask me, some of our own reaction clearly shows that we're dealing with internalised homophobia. Like dogs that were used to abuse, some of us instinctively bit back when Gaga offered us a real present.

"Learning to love yourself " sounds an easy task, but like everything that sounds simple, there is a lot of hard work. The good news is that finally, we have a really cool anthem of our very own by a really cool, ballsy artist. The other good news is that here is another opportunity to learn what is homophobia.

Those young artists are talented. I hope though that this event gives them the same opportunity to see what is courage and how they can get some courage of their own.

Arguments against Gay people over the years

2011-01-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

It has been 41 years since the Stonewall Riots. In 1969, gay Americans finally took to the streets to protest against the constant harassment of police in gay pubs.

Over the years, homophobes have used various arguments to justify the oppression of gay people. The common ones were "Same-sex attraction is unnatural". Various observations by wild-life observers and scientists debunked that argument. Penguins, dolphins, seagulls and many other animals exhibit same-sex behavior in nature.

You'll have to click on the image to see a larger version of it clearly.

The argument then went to "Incest, murder and cannibalism are observed in nature too, should we follow that?" Which is quite silly because homophobes came up with the "unnatural" argument in the first place.

Interestingly, another argument is that homosexuality is an import of Western decadence. Surely our own fine culture and traditions do not have such evils! Yet, in olden Japan and China, homosexual behavior were documented in literature and drawings. Such fine traditional societies on the whole do not frown upon homosexual behaviors. The homophobia started when Western priests came to Eastern shores!

In recent years, religion is a popular refuge for homophobes: "my religion is against homosexual behavior. My God is against gays. Not me!" Homophobes thought that they'd finally found the Last Stand where no scientific evidence nor reason can refute Belief.

Unfortunately, there are many behavior that religion classified as sins. Why then is a few verses and a small group of people singled out for discrimination?

I'd created a pictorial of the more popular arguments against homosexuality. Hopefully, this will help my gay and straight friends see things from a different perspective.

A university student's project (in Mandarin only)

2011-01-24T20:36:00.000-08:00

A university student Kiahui interviewed a few local gay men (myself included) as a school project. It was very well-written, and even though she is straight, she opened her mind to really hear what we have to say.

Click on link:

http://646360488103406573.weebly.com/261592151624615246516529219981261593846323448652882084065289.html

It Gets Better in Singapore

2010-12-23T23:10:00.000-08:00

This is a gift from some of us in the LGBT community to our youths. You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you, and there are listening ears and safe spaces for you. Stay strong, hang in there, call someone. It gets better!

www.pelangipridecentre.org

Families and Enemies of Gay People (Last part of Pelangi Pride Talk)

2010-05-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

Finally! This is the last segment of my talk.

I started this series of Youtube video by posing the question: "who is standing between me and my big gay heaven?"

The whole purpose of the talk is to share how I found a powerful, useful perspective on how to be gay and fulfill my dreams at the same time. Being dishonest about myself, keeping my secrets from family and friends - these acts contradict my intention of creating works of mass appeal.

In this segment, I hope you can see that blaming anti-gay people for the community's predicament can only go so far, but taking responsibility for our own lives is also a crucial element in moving the conversation forward.

The majority is sitting on the fence and watching. Live your lives as openly as you can, and show them what you can do. The gay community is my community. It has given me love, joy, tears, hope, despair and heartbreaks. Being a part of it has made me a better man, and I only hope that through my actions, I'd contributed to this wonderful community in my own small ways.

My humblest thanks to all of you who visited and gave your time to view the videos. - Otto

Religion vs Family?

2010-05-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

he last segment of my talk at Pelangi Pride is the most important. It holds the Holy Grail to the step forward for the Singaporean LGBT community. It is also the hardest part for many. Harvey Milk spoke of it in America in the 70s, and in the last few decades, gay Americans saw the wisdom of his words: COME OUT OF THE CLOSET - at least to your own family.

Coming out is never easy. It is also tougher for the parents than the gay children. We must remember: our parents went through very turbulent times in their youths. Thanks to decades of reinforced stereotyping, having a gay son or daughter is seen as a big setback. Sometimes, after surviving years of political and social changes, to be confronted by a gay child may seem like one more cruel joke Life plays.

Yet, I firmly believe that if a son or daughter is gay, then his/her parents are meant to deal with the issue. It's not different from, say, when a parent must learn to love an autistic child. Every child is perfect the way he or she was born.

Certain segments of the religious population may make things difficult for gays and lesbians in the public sphere, so I can understand why many people choose not to come out publicly. However, coming out to your own family is absolutely essential if there is ever a hope for local LGBTs.

At the end of the day, if a religious leader turns family members against each other by his teachings - even if the family member is gay or of other faiths or non-faiths - then he is not a religious leader I respect.

Giving Thanks - about Lee Kuan Yew, my father and Singapore

2010-05-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

This is part 3 of the Pelangi Pride Talk.

"Acknowledgement" is a word we used frequently to say thanks. But the power of such an act (of acknowledging someone) may not be so clear to some of us.

1. What has the person done that deserves acknowledging?

2. What is stopping me from acknowledging that person?

3. By acknowledging the person (preferably face-to-face), I recognise what is important in my own life (family, friends, society).

4. After acknowledgement, I also get to see what areas of my life that others cannot fulfill for myself.

5. And I get to focus on those areas and recognise that it is up to myself to get what I want.

A gay person may think that, because he/she is gay, he/she is not indebted to the family or society.

"Afterall, my family will never accept me."

"Society rejects me. They owe me for showing me prejudice."

While it is a perfectly valid feeling - being rejected and not accepted - I invite you to think about the years your dad and mom gave to your life. I invite you to consider the education you received, the teachers who patted you on the shoulder and said, "well done." Remember the doctors who made you feel better after you fell ill. Remember those who spoke up in support of you when they need not have to. Remember the laughter and tears shared with an ex-lover.

Did people reject me, or did I even give them a chance?

SissyBack!

2010-04-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Remember when you first realise you're different from the school's sporty classmates? Remember when you first suspect you might have more in common with the class sissies the others like to tease?

I remembered. I resolved to be "normal". I stuffed my sissy boy into the closet.

Then for years I wondered why I felt incomplete!

Here's Part 2 of my talk at Pelangi Pride Centre. It's about how, after decades of banishing that sissy boy in me, I wanted him back in my life.

Ellen Degeneres, Adam Lambert and Your Big Gay Potential

2010-04-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

This is a small segment of a talk I gave at Pelangi Pride Centre.

Does being gay get in the way of an openly-gay Singaporean from being great? It should not.

Can a gay person create great works that contribute to the larger society? Most definitely.

The trick is getting the context right. Coming out allows me to be authentic to myself and it shows in my work. In a competitive world, I need to be as ruthlessly real to myself as I possibly can. By living in fear about being outed daily, one can only compromise one's focus on being the best he/she can be.

That's what Ellen Degeneres did. It's what Adam Lambert did. Get the sexuality fears out of the way, and use your talents to create works that transcend your sexuality. Being gay should be a very small aspect of your life. It certainly should not be used as an excuse not to live up to your fullest potential.

Can Gay Relationships Last?

2010-03-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

“Couples, gay or straight, are not statistics and are not subject to what the majority of their groups do in studies and analyses. They are people who deserve the support and encouragement to succeed in their relationships and to have the best possible chance at a long and healthy life together.” Chris Shultz

I wrote this in response to an article in TIME.com called “Are Gay Relationships Different?” It is written by John Cloud, after his first relationship of 7.5 years ended.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704660,00.html

This article prompted some discussion amongst my Facebook friends about gay relationships. A common opinion is that gay relationships are less permanent, and that straight relationships are often successfully anchored by children. In that article from TIME.com, Cloud mused that if he was in a straight relationship, he would “almost certainly have had children” and his relationship would still be intact.

Hence, a Facebook friend commented that “death or heartbreak, all relationships come to an end eventually. So, he concluded that the “length of time as a yardstick for measuring the quality of a relationship would be a poor yardstick indeed.””

I found it understandable why some gay folks will see that perspective. When my personal experience was that my relationships failed, it would be hard not to have that nagging feeling that what some said about gays is correct: we can’t conduct personal relationships well. I went through that after several of my relationships ended in my twenties. I told myself that men aren’t meant to stay together – only women held the keys to a lasting relationship.

Now, I found that perspective deeply flawed and offensive. It is offensive to assume that many straight couples could only rely on their children to make their relationships work. It is offensive to childless straight couples. It is offensive to gay couples who never adopted and yet stayed together for decades.

It is terribly unfair that one would compare relationships that ended by heartbreak, to relationships that ended with the death of a partner.

“What is the difference?” one might ask. Afterall, all relationships end one way or another!

The difference is simple: in one relationship, the partners made a vow. In the others, no vow was made. This is not to denigrate shorter relationships. Even short relationships teach us valuable lessons – and sometimes these lessons informed us to cherish the next one. But, in short-term relationships, there is no commitment. Let’s stay together if we’re happy and it works for both of us. Once it stops working for either of us, let’s split. There’s nothing wrong with that.

In a committed relationship, a vow to love, respect and cherish each other is one that ends with “till death do us part”. It is a vow not to be taken lightly. It means that a partner vows to stay with another through thick and thin, riches and rags, in health and in sickness. My vow is to be with my partner when he contributes to our relationship. And my vow stands even when he is no longer able to contribute in certain ways (physical disability, aging complications). As long as he wants me around, and as long as I am capable of making decisions, I will be with him.

It’s interesting to note that in the TIME.com article, the author used his own relationship as an example of a gay relationship that did not work out. Other than citing statistics that supported his point of view, he mentioned no other gay relationships – not even the ones that worked. It’s like someone who’d just climbed a hill and wrote about climbing Everest - without consulting a single Everest mountaineer. Personally, I have several Singaporean gay couples who are together for over a decade or two, and are still going strong. And I know of a couple from America, Neal and John, who’d been together for 30 years.

While it is true that many gay relationships do not work out, it is also true that gay relationships often lacked the community, familial and societal support that straight relationships take for granted.

Also, Chris Shultz, a friend of mine, noted, “It seems that same-sex relationships haven't enjoyed the social support and approval for long enough to draw meaningful comparisons between same-sex and different-sex relationships and their relative success rates.”

I am reminded of what is a committed relationship - and what makes it last - in, of all things, an animated cartoon. In the first 10 minutes of Pixar’s Oscar-winning animated feature “Up”, we were shown a compressed lifetime of a childless couple, Carl and Ellie.

When they found out that Ellie couldn’t conceive, the couple was devastated.

In every young gay man’s mind, we have visited that shocking, inescapable conclusion shortly after we dealt with being gay: since our future relationships lacked eggs for fertilisation, we would likely never have the chance to be fathers. While it might not have manifested itself as devastatingly as Ellie’s discovery at the doctor, it certainly was a blow to us nevertheless.

In the film, as Ellie sat sadly on the front yard’s swing, Carl approached her and made her a promise: they would embark on a trip to their childhood dreamland, South America.

Carl didn’t say, “oops, sorry you couldn’t conceive. That means we can’t have children. Our relationship would never stand a chance without them! I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you.”

Carl said, “ok, so we can’t have the adventure of having children. Let’s find a new adventure together!”

Some people argued that gay relationships should not work, because they do not satisfy the end goal of marriage: procreation. And some of us believed these people.

While the world needs a steady supply of children, it is also in dire need of many other things. What’s to stop a gay couple from finding an adventure they can both work happily towards? An adventure could be as simple as building a home together, creating a company together or even something as huge and noble as starting and running a charity or orphanage.

Sure, some of us can achieve these singlehandedly. But one thing I learnt when I climbed the Grand Canyon in Colorado, US, alone and witnessed a breathtaking sunrise there two decades ago: I wanted that special someone to share that awesome sight with me. Always.

RazorTV - Let's Talk About S_E_X

2009-06-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

The recent AWARE episode has cast a white-hot spotlight on sex education in schools.

On 5th June, RazorTV's Kai Ling and E-Von invited a few students and myself to talk about Sex Education on their show.

I encourage you to watch Part 2 and 3 of the video, because in Part 3, I said something that I felt is very important for parents and students: "Education not only preserves what is good in society, but it also serves to prepare our kids for the future world." Adult Singaporeans who have the opportunity to work and interact with overseas people will agree that we need to be able to express ourselves clearly, eloquently and with facts to a global community. Without giving our students a world perspective, our kids cannot expect to compete, stand up and be heard with respect by well-educated people from all over the world.

This is Part 1 of the video (about 10 mins):

Here's Part 2 (8 mins):

Part 3:

Julian Bond speaks of Gay Marriage

2009-03-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

The top black leaders of the world: Coretta Scott King (wife of Martin Luthur King), Bishop Tutu and Nelson Mandela understood what prejudice is about. They supported gay rights and gay marriage.

Julian Bond speaks eloquently of the current arguments against equality:

The Oscar parts local tv censored

2009-02-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

"Milk", the movie about slain gay leader Harvey Milk, won Best Actor and Best Original Screenplay.

As usual, any positive portrayal or speech about gay people was censored by local broadcast (imagine trying to do that to other minorities!).

The speech by Best Original Screenplay winner Dustin Lance Black is important, so I'll just put it up here.

And the acceptance speech by Sean Penn for winning Best Actor is also cool. When I watched his performance, even my gaydar was fooled by his acting. Amazing!

Melbourne radio chat + Channelnews Asia + Newpaper

2008-12-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

On the 3rd Dec, Australian radio station Joy 94.9 interviewed me about life before and after my coming out. It is now available online as a podcast.
(Look for "Orange Ribbon" program in the list, and if the program for 3rd December is no longer listed then click on "Other episodes.." and then select the program for 3rd December, 2008.)

http://www.joy.org.au/rsspodcast

Alternately, you can download the podcast directly using this link:

http://www.cpod.org.au/download.php?id=604

These 3 Youtube videos are posted by Channel NewsAsia's Blog TV in Sept 30th, 2008.

In it, Ping and the Flying Dutchman discussed why it is important for schools to talk about sex education. It is timely because HIV infection is still on the rise, and a lack of progress in this area globally will only continue the trend.

And here's an article in July 2008 in Newpaper:

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly/0,4139,171549,00.html

Indignation Talk Part 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11

2008-09-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

Click here: Youtube video Part 7

In this short segment, I have a message for gay students in Singapore. This is the message I wished someone had given to me when I was a lonely gay teen in school.

Click here: Youtube video Part 8

Here, the brave audience attending this talk are invited to ask any questions. The first is probably the most immediate: how can I take down the blog so quickly? And what really happened at MOE (Ministry Of Education) during the controversy?

Click here: Youtube video Part 9

Russell Heng, an inspiring playwright and pioneer, asked an unexpected but really tough question: how I felt with Fong Swee Suan as my father. Fong Swee Suan was one of the key characters, along with Lim Chin Siong, in the infamous Hock Lee bus riot.

Click here: Youtube video Part 10

Another audience wanted advise on being a teacher who happens to be gay.
Should he/she come out?

Click here: Youtube video Part 11

And here, an advise for local artists, comic artists or otherwise, on what attitude can get Singapore to Pop!

Indignation talk Part 5 & 6 - these are the best bits!

2008-08-24T08:50:00.001-07:00

Click here: Youtube video Part 5

After coming out, I see Singapore in a whole new light. Suddenly, the possibility that Singapore can become a nation whose culture and technology contribute to the whole wide world becomes real!

Click here: Youtube video Part 6

This part of the speech talks about my rebirth as a comic artist. Removed from my closet, I am now able to create fearlessly, and strive to be the best person I can be.

Why did I come out? Videos part 1 to 4 on Youtube

2008-08-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

Click here: Youtube video Part 1

Why did I come out? Due to societal pressures, gay men and women learn to keep their orientation hidden for years and decades. I carried that burden with me for almost 3 decades, but at some point, I decided it is not a cross I wish to carry for the rest of my life.

Click here: Youtube Video Part 2

There are many people I can thank for helping me reach my decision to come out. Here are some of the reasons (apologies to Rev Ouyong Wenfeng - I'd neglected to mention his contributions during the speech).

Click here: Youtube video part 3

How did I come out? Some of you may have seen bits and snippets of the newspaper coverage in September 2007, but here's the details of what happened days before I put up my coming out blog.

Click here: Youtube video part 4

What happened after I posted the blog? The next few days were stormy and the pressure was tremendous. I could talk about it more objectively now.

The subsequent parts will be out soon. I hope these videos will be a positive contribution in your lives. Thanks for viewing them.

A Letter - Sept 2007

2008-08-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

I am Otto Fong. I have been teaching Science in Raffles Institution for the last eight years.

Being a teacher has been the most rewarding part of my professional life thus far. My students continue to amaze me daily with their wit, maturity, independent thinking and leadership. It is very fulfilling that I am a part of an institution that moulds the future generation of Singapore’s leaders.

Leaders are people who can rise above the tide of popular opinion, people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.

Recent events leading to my action

Recent events have made me decide to write this open letter. In April this year, Minister Mentor Mr Lee Kuan Yew – one of the school’s greatest alumni – called homosexuality a “genetic variation”, questioning the validity of criminalising gay sex. In July, MP Baey Yam Keng expressed support for the repeal of Section 377A of the penal code (which criminalises gay sex acts). In August, Malaysian columnist and ordained pastor Oyoung Wenfeng released his inspiring new Mandarin book “Tong Gen Sheng”, encouraging gay men and women to come out of the closet.

A few evenings later, I attended a forum organised by People Like Us on gay teachers and students. A few brave twenty-something guys asked, “Why has there been so little guidance available to me as a gay teenager?” It was a question that I had asked myself often, growing up.

When I became a teacher in 1999, I looked back on the good guidance my own teachers gave me as a template, and tried to be a better teacher to my students. Besides teaching them Science, I spent considerable effort in imparting good social values: give up your seats to the needy, save the handicapped parking lot for those in wheelchairs and their caretakers, respect people regardless of profession or social status.

How hate is perpetuated

Yet, in the eight years I have taught, I have done little for that small group of students who are gay. When the religious group Focus on the Family masqueraded as sex guidance counselors and gave a talk full of misinformation about homosexuality to our students, I was furious but kept my mouth shut.

When my niece returned from school saying, “Gays are disgusting!” I knew she learnt that hatred from a classmate, who had in turn absorbed that hatred from a parent. I knew that this hatred has been perpetrated for generations. But hatred grew out of fear, and hatred, as a line in a movie goes, “leads to the Dark Side.” This is the same environment of hatred I grew up in, as a gay teenager and student.

Until Section 377A¹ is repealed, there will be precious little the Ministry of Education can do to help these students. As a teacher, I am bound by my professional duty to follow the directives of my superiors.

While these events helped crystallize my decision to come out of the closet, my motivation remains deeply personal.

My family and I

As far back as primary six, I have been aware of my attraction towards classmates of the same sex. For those who argued about nurturing factors of the family, my brother and sister grew up under the same parents and remained heterosexuals despite growing up with me in close proximity.

As a teenager, I was very quick to sense society’s aversion towards the ‘sissies’ in my classes. I worked hard to distance myself from them. While I was successful in modifying my outward behavior, my sexual orientation remained unchanged. My denial gnawed at me, and the suppression of my true self resulted in self-destructive behavior during my overseas university years.

Fortunately, my American fraternity mates were supportive. I began to see a counselor who helped me accept myself for who and what I am.

Returning to Singapore, I came out to my family. My father, mother, brother and sister, out of love for their son and brother, walked the long road to acceptance. It was not easy for them, but they loved me before I came out, and they love me after. When I finally settled down with my longtime companion (we have been together for more than nine years), my entire family made sure my nieces and nephews included us in their lives. I loved my family too much to keep them in the dark, to deny them the chance to really know me. And they loved me too much to let some old prejudice tear our family apart.

I kept my sexual orientation a secret at work, and only a handful of my colleagues knew about me.

I don’t want to be a bonsai tree

Not counting my childhood, I have spent more than twenty years in the professional closet. I am nearing my fourth decade on Earth. While I have had some successes in life, I am not content to be just average. As I have often told my students, “Why be average when you can be your best?”

Do you know what a bonsai tree is? A bonsai tree is an imitation of a real tree. It is kept in a small pot with limited nutrients, trimmed constantly to fit someone else’s whim. It looks like a real tree, except it can’t do many things a real tree can. It cannot provide shelter, it cannot find food on its own; its life and death are totally reliant on its owner. It is the plant version of the 3-inch Chinese bound foot for women: useless and painful.

Being in the closet, pretending to be straight, trimming our true selves to suit the whims and expectations of others, is just like being a human bonsai tree. By staying in the closet, we cannot even hope to be average, much less above and beyond average.

I felt that in order to reach my fullest potential as a useful human being, I must first fully accept myself, and face the world honestly. I have lived long enough to know that what I am is not a disease, an aberration or a mental illness.

Hate is not a religious value

Many people have cited many ‘reasons’ for hating homosexuals, just as many people tried to justify their views that the Earth was flat, that the darker skinned should always be inferior, and that women should subjugate their lives to men. The teachings of the world’s great religious traditions offer many words of wisdom, but the interpretations of their human followers are not infallible. As Jesus said in his Sermon on the Mount (yes, a personal Bible was given to me by a great lady and I honored her by reading the book), we must love our neighbors as ourselves. It is a simple teaching, but one that’s rarely followed by those who seek to oppress people different form themselves. The path to enlightenment always faces stubborn resistance. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you...”

There are some people who are using homosexuality to advance their personal ambitions vis a vis religion. They claim that the homosexual ‘agenda’ is to make the whole world gay and threaten the stability of the family. Yet, let us examine the evidence: Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the first countries to legalise gay marriage, are more stable than ever – their population has not been converted by gays and their heterosexual divorce rates have even decreased since gays have been afforded legal rights. (William N. Eskridge, Jr and Darren R. Spedale, Oxford University Press, 2006).

The only agenda gay people have is to be able to live with the same rights and dignity as our heterosexual brothers and sisters. Our very vocal opponents are the ones actively preying on innocent people, recruiting them to their cause by spreading fear and misinformation. I hope thinking people will quickly see that it is this small group of vocal objectionists who have a more dangerous agenda, that their fight with gay people has nothing to do with what’s right or wrong, but is merely a litmus test of their political influence. For peace and prosperity to continue, Singapore must always uphold secularism, where each different segment of the population respects the beliefs and rights of the others.

Can a country with no natural resources afford drive away its own citizens?

There is a very pragmatic reason that you should support the rights and dignity of gay Singaporeans: in this globally-competitive era, Singapore needs her gay sons and daughters, just as we need our Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Most importantly, we need those gay sons and daughters because those gay sons and daughters are Singaporean Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, immigrants, men and women, old folks and young. Can a country without natural resources continue to flourish when it starts to drive away its own children?

As I said before, leaders are people who are guided by the conviction of rightness and justice and in being so guided, lead others towards that right path.

I am still a teacher. My main purpose and joy is to teach our youngest citizens, the same ones who will be the leaders of our nation tomorrow. But, I feel I am shortchanging both society and myself by staying in the closet. I must be true to myself. If my colleagues and students, both gay and straight, see that being true to one’s own self has great value, perhaps we can produce a new generation who is truly courageous. A new generation of young people who are proud to be themselves, no matter what difference they have from their classmates. Then I will have succeeded in providing them a better education than I had the opportunity to receive during my years in school.

So here’s what I am, and I am a friend in need at the moment

So here it is: I, Otto Fong, have always been and always will be a gay man. When you ask about my spouse, I will say he is a man. I am as proud being gay as you are proud being straight. I am not, as some people like to label gays, a pedophile, a child molester, a pervert or sexual deviant. I did not choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals did not choose to be straight. I am not going to hell (not for being gay anyway).

I am not going back in the closet. When you ask me who I am, I will answer: I am a son, a brother, a long-time companion, an uncle, a teacher, a classmate, a colleague, a part of your community, a HDB dweller, a Singaporean. And I am also gay.

I would like to enjoy the respect that all other Singaporeans enjoy. I will not let the closet bind my feet, because I am made to sprint. I am not interested in being a bonsai tree, my DNA is programmed to climb higher. My heart aspires to reach my fullest potential as a human being.

I hope, dear friends and colleagues, that you look back and remember what I am, and see that I am not someone you fear. I am essentially the same person – flawed, imperfect, but brought up properly by two loving parents to lead a productive, beneficial and meaningful life. My friends and family love me for who I am, and I hope you can too. I come out to you with as much hope and trepidation as when I first come out to my mother and father. Your support and understanding are very important to me at this moment.

Thank you, may you prosper in health and soul.

Yours sincerely,

Otto Fong

8^th Sept 2007

Glossary

1. Section 377A is a law that allows certain sexual acts between consensual heterosexual adults but forbids the same sexual acts between consensual homosexual adults.

Thank you all!

2007-09-09T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Thank you all for the outpouring of support!

I wrote this blog for my colleagues and some friends, so that is done.

While I am grateful for your generosity, I must remain true to my original intent.

May you all prosper in heart and mind!

Otto