HERStory passed censorship without cuts or rating

TODAY's news writeup by Mayo Martin (click on image to read details)

5 years ago, a play which talks about the lives of an old Singaporean political leftist's wife and her gay son would have been a lightning rod for the flash of the censors' scissors. 

This week, it will be showing without cut or rating. This means . . . I really have no idea what it means! Does this signal a more enlightened governmental direction in nurturing the Arts? Did the recent General Election have any impact on the show? 

All I know is that the artists involved all agreed that the politics and sexuality should only be presented when the issue is relevant to the central character. While these issues are inseparable to the woman portrayed in this play, they cannot upstage her feelings and her thoughts. For instance, while the gay son has strong opinions about sexuality and gay rights, it was not shared by the mother during their confrontations. So how do we present such scenes without being disrespectful to both sides? This brings to mind another play, called "_____ Can Change", staged by The Necessary Stage.

A scene from TNS's "______ Can Change"

The TNS story presented the religious mother's view, where the gay son gave up his relationship with a man, then married and had children to please his mother. During the performance I watched, a group of gay supporters protested loudly, then stalked off the show! In our play, we try to show what goes on in the mother's mind when her son made a very public declaration of his sexuality. No apologies, no regrets, no agendas. 

As for the politics, we stayed true to the central character - in Singapore, during the 50s and 60s, women were deliberately kept out of the meetings. When questioned by a more vocal feminist, a prominent politician replied, "it is our prerogative." Hence, we only presented what the woman could see - hence, politically-charged scenes - those which she was not a part of - are presented only when they made some impact on her, or totally removed when we felt it does not serve her story.

Without a restricted rating, our play will be seen and judged by all ages. We cannot predict how the play will be received this coming weekend. All I can say, one day before the play, is that we hope people find that their weekend is well-spent with us!

Talk@Google

On the 10th May, I was invited by Gayglers, the LGBT group in Google Singapore, for their first afternoon sharing session with their employees.

I was expecting a small room where a few LGBT employees and I spend the one hour chit-chatting. Instead, a sizeable number showed up, with a good number of straight and gay employees - it was the most diverse and international crowd I'd shared with. It makes sense too for Google - events like these allows employees to learn about local culture and thinking, giving them a broader perspective and hence greater ways of reaching out to different demographics.

As for myself, I was asking, "why do I keep sharing? I should be drawing my next comic book!" There is no answer to that. Deep inside, I know sharing is good for myself and others, as long as I share responsibly. My view is, we're all fleas on a very big elephant. Those of us living in the elephant's ears will have a vastly different view than those living on its arse. Our own truths are not the Whole Truth, and any "I'm right you're wrong" argument is at best futile. Sharing helps us see a slightly bigger picture. As our differences open our eyes, our commonality draws us closer.

Google Singapore is very supportive of their employees. Gayglers is just one of those interest groups set up by employees themselves. When introducing me, the management (who sat through my entire talk) quoted a line I wrote in my coming-out blog, "I won't be a Bonsai tree."

I shared a little about the lessons I learnt as an openly-gay person: My life has extended beyond the closet, and I'd reached out to friends from all walks of life, seen more schools and students than I'd ever did in my 8 years as a teacher. My comic books have promoted fun and imagination in the learning of Science. Just the other day, a student stood up and said, "a Muslim cannot be a scientist!" (A little heartbreaking when a child cannot dream freely even in a country like Singapore.) And I was able to show her the possibility that anyone can - and I could back it up because one of my books have already featured a Muslim scientist (can we fight global problems with just half of the world's scientists?). A week before the talk, another print of my Sir Fong comics sold out.

I gave up a closet, and gained the forest.

In other words, this little Bonsai tree is starting to grow its own branches. No longer constantly under the gardener's knife, I am reaching for the sky as nature intended me to. I don't know why I keep sharing, but that's the beauty of being out of the closet - I am learning day-by-day to trust my heart.

HERStory - my new play in the Arts Festival 2011

Click on image below to read article!

In this year's Arts Festival, I wrote a little play. The play was originally intended as a tribute to my mother, who supported my dad Fong Swee Suan during his political career as a Trade Unionist, co-founder of our current ruling party PAP and subsequent imprisonment during a sweep against the leftists in Singapore. But as improvisations began at Drama Box, my long-time partner-in-theatre, director Kok Heng Luen, dramaturg Chong Tze Chien and the actors involved help the script evolve into a tribute for women of the 50s and 60s.

The change in direction was also prompted by my mother: she objected to me bringing up the fact that the woman in the play has a gay son. She had given her entire life and sacrificed her own dreams in order to bring me up after my father was released from prison. It is easy to imagine that a possible lifetime of discrimination by the mainstream population was NOT what she had in mind for her child. In the end, the gay son stays in the story, while we modified the story from one woman to women of her generation.

Click on image below to read Mandarin writeup on play!

Click on image below to read Mandarin writeup on play!

I came out publicly as a gay person in 2007. While I cannot agree with my mother's prejudices, I can sympathize with her feelings. AND while I sympathize with her feelings, I cannot consent to going back into the closet. She'd given up her whole life partly for her family, and for myself. But I cannot give up my life in return just to just be her ideal son. 

Afterall, she had rebelled against the injustices of her generation. She'd defied old traditions of women staying in the kitchen and allowing the men to run her life. She had stood for what she believed in and paid the price. Hence, it was a little ironic that she expect me to follow in her tradition and live according to her expectations. So, the focus of the play is firmly from the woman's point of view, but the audience can also expect to see some really interesting exchange scenes, as sparks fly between the two generations. 

The fight to express our sexuality is not the same as the Feminist Movement nor the African-American Civil Rights Movement. Yet, there are a lot of parallels as we move towards an era where all these damning labels get discarded one by one. If you have the time and interest, do book a good seat for this show:

http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/126

HERStory

Date: 28th May and 29th May 2011

Performances at 3pm and 8pm

Tickets at $36

@ SOTA (School of The Arts) Studio Theatre

An Anniversary: is a partnership automatically 'better' than being single?

Today, an ex-student of mine was featured in Straits Times


Today, a student from a single-parent family was featured in ST. His mom raised him singlehandedly, and she raised a son anyone can be proud of.

Why do I mention him here?


Anniversaries were kept private

Yesterday, my partner Han and I celebrated our 13th anniversary together.

In the past, we kept our birthdays and anniversaries to ourselves. We usually buy a cake and flowers for each other. Barring a few very close friends, we would spend those evenings quietly at home.

One of the reasons why we chose to celebrate quietly is this: as the years go by, it felt like gloating. I didn't know why, but somehow celebrating with others did not feel right.

Flawed views on partnerships

Recently, I saw what stopped us from sharing: I know how being single felt like. Now that we're together, I don't see how we can enjoy the moment when some of our great friends are single. To every single person, declaring our anniversary might come across as a declaration that we'd "succeeded". In order to be successful, in my old view, someone else must fail.

Also, there are many gay and lesbian couples who had stayed together longer than we. AND, there are instances where such long term relationships come to an end. So, celebrating an anniversary is in no way a declaration that a couple has "made it".

Thankfully, age has finally given me some new insights. The main flaw lies in seeing a long-term relationship as 'superior' to that of singlehood or short-termed ones. I'd committed the same folly as the religious fundamentalists who objected to gay marriage, single-parents and divorced parenting: they assume that a man-woman marriage is superior to that of other forms of arrangements. All other arrangements are frowned upon, or worse, discriminated against.

Yet, anyone who knows my ex-student will attest that he is raised as well as - if not better than - many two parents could.

Is there only one right path?

Many people have done quite well as singles. Whether it's singlehood by choice or circumstance, many people has created extraordinary lives despite the lack of a partner. Divorced parents can bring up wonderful children, and children under traditional man-woman households are also likely to face a variety of challenges. In other words, we cannot assume that only one way works for everyone. Given that each individual grows up with distinct abilities, genes and circumstances, it is erroneous to believe that what works for us will work for every individual.

That is what religious fundamentalist believe: there is only one way. All other ways are morally objectionable.

Similarly, if I'd assume that my 13 years together with Han is somehow 'better' than every other arrangements by my fellow lgbt friends, I am, for lack of a better phrase, full of shit. Many of my single friends are doing very well on their own, and what right do I have to judge them according to my personal ideals?

A celebration need not be a comparison

With that realisation, I now share with you that Han and I have been together for 13 years. I am able to celebrate our anniversary fully. Celebrating my happiness does not diminish the varied life experiences of my fellow men and women, because I can see that one celebration is simply an affirmation that I am happy with the choice I make in life - which is to spend it with Han. I am at the same time in awe of all the single men and women who made it work and made it work well. What I cannot imagine doing myself, my single friends made a reality.

Why should a single person not see his/her life as an inspiration or a reason for celebration? Why should single parents be looked down upon or discriminated against in anyway?

Cashing In on Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga released "Born This Way" this week. It is her love song to the gay community.

This is the first time a major artist at the top of her game put out a song about gays, lesbians, bis and transgender lives. Before her, there were courageous indies groups or singers, but none of the major pop stars would give us a song. So we adopted "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, we flooded the dance floor when "YMCA" started blasting and our transgender sisters lip-synched to a dozen torch songs written for suffering women.



So I was surprised at the reception of "Born This Way" by some of our own. "If this song is a hit," declares someone, "I will turn straight!" The common observation is that the song sounds like Madonna's "Express Yourself" - which is, to my opinion, quite accurate. But remember that (for those of us old enough) when Madonna was young, she was also relentlessly compared to the previous gay icon Barbra Streisand.

Soon, it's hip to say that Lady Gaga was cashing in on the Pink Dollar. Now THAT I take issue with!


A few days later, covers of "Born This Way" pops up in the internet. Some really excellent covers. What is striking then, is the fact that many of them took out the line "gay str9 or bi, lesbian transgender lives".

This one wants you to buy her tune on iTune:


This one does an excellent cover:

And this one's great too:


They all took out that line. So, either these artists are uncomfortable with the gay community, or they're afraid of losing a portion of their listeners who might be homophobic. Yet, at least one of them asks that you buy her neutered version of the song on iTunes!

So it seems not many people are eager to cash in on the Pink Dollar! Sometimes, we're so hip and clever that we don't know our asses from our heads. Turns out Elton John and Dan Savage are right again - Lady Gaga has more balls than many. If you ask me, some of our own reaction clearly shows that we're dealing with internalised homophobia. Like dogs that were used to abuse, some of us instinctively bit back when Gaga offered us a real present.

"Learning to love yourself " sounds an easy task, but like everything that sounds simple, there is a lot of hard work. The good news is that finally, we have a really cool anthem of our very own by a really cool, ballsy artist. The other good news is that here is another opportunity to learn what is homophobia. 

Those young artists are talented. I hope though that this event gives them the same opportunity to see what is courage and how they can get some courage of their own.

Arguments against Gay people over the years

It has been 41 years since the Stonewall Riots. In 1969, gay Americans finally took to the streets to protest against the constant harassment of police in gay pubs.

Over the years, homophobes have used various arguments to justify the oppression of gay people. The common ones were "Same-sex attraction is unnatural". Various observations by wild-life observers and scientists debunked that argument. Penguins, dolphins, seagulls and many other animals exhibit same-sex behavior in nature.

You'll have to click on the image to see a larger version of it clearly.

The argument then went to "Incest, murder and cannibalism are observed in nature too, should we follow that?" Which is quite silly because homophobes came up with the "unnatural" argument in the first place.

Interestingly, another argument is that homosexuality is an import of Western decadence. Surely our own fine culture and traditions do not have such evils! Yet, in olden Japan and China, homosexual behavior were documented in literature and drawings. Such fine traditional societies on the whole do not frown upon homosexual behaviors. The homophobia started when Western priests came to Eastern shores!

In recent years, religion is a popular refuge for homophobes: "my religion is against homosexual behavior. My God is against gays. Not me!" Homophobes thought that they'd finally found the Last Stand where no scientific evidence nor reason can refute Belief.

Unfortunately, there are many behavior that religion classified as sins. Why then is a few verses and a small group of people singled out for discrimination? 

I'd created a pictorial of the more popular arguments against homosexuality. Hopefully, this will help my gay and straight friends see things from a different perspective.

A university student's project (in Mandarin only)

A university student Kiahui interviewed a few local gay men (myself included) as a school project. It was very well-written, and even though she is straight, she opened her mind to really hear what we have to say.

Click on link:

http://646360488103406573.weebly.com/261592151624615246516529219981261593846323448652882084065289.html